Ave, People of the Blogosphere!
I realize I haven’t posted since October, and that it’s been even longer since I posted on a regular basis. But in a world where sweatpants are “in”, and you can't smoke in downtown Walnut Creek, things can get crazy, yes? I've been busy, you see. For instance, I...
+ Reanimated Latin! Jo!
+ Got the Pope drunk.
- Got so drunk with him that I forgot all my Latin. Forever.
+ Founded a synchronized swimming league for canines and narwhals.
+ Climbed Everest. Twice!
+ Reinvented the wheel.
+ Decided that reinventing the wheel was a terrible idea and took it all back during pre-production.
- Was sued for this.
+ Discovered the hard way that dried knobs of ketchup are very hard to scrape off of plates.*
+ Found Narnia.
I’d love to end on a promise to update this blog on at least a semi-regular basis, but New Year’s resolutions have a way of being total b.s., and there will never be a shortage of clergy people needing booze, and dogs and narwhals needing to practice their synchronized swimming skills, so... if things slow down anytime soon it’ll only be because I ran out of amphetamines.**
What have YOU been up to?
With caffeine deprivation and squalor,
* Okay, this actually happened.
** OH MY GOSH, I’m JOKING!